Decline of the West
Woe is us say the doom and gloomers. The classic ways are disappearing. The traditional nuclear family is in retreat. Our cities are decaying before our eyes. Poverty, civil wars, political extremes, sectarian conflict, aggressive nationalism, primitive populism, tribal and ethnic bloodletting, racial animus, mass surveillance, vulgar and privacy-robbing social media, totalitarianism and authoritarianism on the march, democracy and the rule of law in retreat- a veritable Sodom and Gommorah if you listen to the religious fundamentalists of various faiths in our midst. Refugees flee brutal conflicts, financial instability disrupts our communities, human rights and basic physical security under attack on all fronts. Huge gaps between rich and poor. The top one percent control the same amount of global wealth as the other 99%. People are skeptical our institutions will survive. Cynics question the long term future of a planet unable or unwilling to grapple with climate change. Whew very depressing, will the center hold?
Well, call me a Pollyanna, but I respectfully disagree. A hard nosed examination of the data shows the human condition has substantially improved over the past 75 years. By most measures, we are less violent and more prosperous than ever before. Globalization, a favorite punching bag for cynics, has dramatically improved the lives of billions of people. Over the past 30 years, the number of people living in poverty worldwide has declined from 40% to 10%. Children have more to eat, fewer mothers die in childbirth. The air is cleaner, the rivers, lakes, and oceans are healthier. We are more conscious of our environment. We are intellectually aware of the reality of climate change and our making good faith if uneven attempts to address it. Life expectancy is up. Health care advances amaze us. Stage IV cancers are being treated! Smart manufacturing astounds us with products that ease the burdens of daily life. Transportation services are fast, efficient and make the world our oyster. Young people are more educated and tolerant, more diverse and inclusive, more creative, compassionate and empathetic. I remain an optimist - generally sanguine about the future. At minimum the species will muddle through!
However, threats to western civilization DO exist. We must be vigilant. We must guard against subtle and clandestine efforts to undermine our most sacred cultural traditions. We must identify clear and present dangers and respond with resolve and determination.
In surveying the landscape, one beacon of modern society is under attack, the MARTINI! Are you surprised? What a transition. We always aim for intellectual and emotional agility in these parts.
I am passionate about the legendary cocktail. I am not alone. F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ian Fleming, Ernest Hemingway, H.L. Mencken, Dorothy Parker, E.B. White, Humphrey Bogart, Gary Grant, Frank Sinatra, and Ava Gardner are all martini aficionados - certainly it has been the calling card of the literate and artistic set. Churchill and Roosevelt won a war by committing to daily consumption of a martini (sometimes two). Robert Oppenheimer, of current cinema fame, entertained his fellow scientists at Los Alamos with a weekly martini fest. He always toasted to “the confusion of our enemies.” Hemingway said “They make me feel civilized.” Even Soviet leader Nikita Khrushev recognized their useful appeal, commenting “They are America’s most lethal weapon!” Martinis blunt the hardships of the day and polish and brighten the potential of the evening. The perfect combination of gin and vermouth is one of the happiest relationships on earth.
So I ask - what is the problem? Well, next time you take a comfortable seat at your favorite watering hole, engage with your loyal mixologist and review the latest offerings on the “martini” section of the menu. It is an abundance, even an embarrassment of riches. The Oyster Mignonette Martini, the Radish Water Martini, the Squid Ink Martini, the Basil Balsamic Martini, the Pickled Fennel Martini, the Sushi Rice Martini, the Au Poivre Martini, the Espresso Martini, the Almond Joy Martini, the Chocolate Orange Martini, the Sugar Cookie Martini, the Banana Split Martini, the Cajun Berry Martini - all those in black and white, certainly creative, but I submit blasphemous. More aggressive martini purists would not hesitate to use the term “abomination.”
“Off with their heads!” The creative explosion of martini recipes must stop now. “Martini preparation and execution is an art. It is demanding, sophisticated and SIMPLE. Treat it with respect.” Let’s review the basics. First, the glasses. Martinis should be served in an elegant V - shaped glass with a slim stem. Two acceptable sizes, large and small. No exceptions. Martini glasses must be well chilled in the freezer for a minimum of four hours. For preparation, shaken or stirred, are both acceptable, although I, a la James Bond, prefer shaken. You need a cocktail shaker, complete with a lid and spout that is fitted with a strainer. Fill the shaker about three-quarters full with large ice cubes. Then gently add the ingredients - I recommend six parts gin and one part dry vermouth (3 oz gin - 1/2 oz vermouth). Then raise the shaker above your shoulder, close to your right ear, and shake in rhythm for ten seconds. Remove the cap and pour your drink into your well chilled glass. Then add garnish; 1-2 green olives or pearl onions or lemon wedges. Don’t over-garnish. It is a cocktail, not a salad.
Are any variations from the classic formula acceptable? As a progressive and flexible purist, I accept several menu variations. Vodka is acceptable, although anathema to me. A smidgen of angostura or orange bitters ok. Blue cheese olives - maybe in a pinch. The “Vesper” and “Aviation” cocktails have enough history to to be included in the martini section of the bar list. That is it! Remember to store your opened vermouth in a refrigerator. Quality gins abound - I like Plymouth, Hendricks and Monkey 47. Noilly-Prat is the vermouth of choice.
Let’s sign a pact, preserve the traditional martinis. We don’t need to “ban” those other creations described above- just don’t call them martinis. A simple way to avoid the pending Decline of the West.
